International women’s day has been historically the day when people specially in our countries talk about how women are discreminated in their everyday lives, how they are being the victims of violence and all. but I have been thinking about women like us who never fall in that categories. we are independent young women, who control their own lives, i.e, have good careers and earn good money. we learnt at a very early stage of our lives that we were no less than the men.our parents invested the same amount of money they invested for their sons.but on this special day i have been just reflecting on what we are giving up in return

if you are an independent girl in a relationship then never expect to get flowers and chocolates and cute cards from your boyfreind. because your partners will always deprive you of these saying, ‘i thought, you are not like other girls’ and get away with not dropping you home, not opening the doors for you, not rescuing you when you are having a row may be with the traffic police in dhaka.they will keep you waiting for years not popping the ‘will you marry me?’ question. worst part is you can’t pursue the guy for doing any of these as that will make you look like a next door girl (those other girls , he always mentions about)which you always have to try not to be.

if you are a career oriented single girl and couldn’t manage to get married yet, chances are very high you wouldn’t find one or have time to find one in the near future. there will be tremendous social pressure on you to get married and they will make all your achievemets look like really insignificant unless you can hook up with a suitable man for you. but you will find no one in your family or among your freinds who will take the responsibility to look one up for you. they will all say , ‘ohh , you are just too qualified to find a husband’ in different ways and you will surely know they are actually not praising you in that way. being too qualified is never good for girls!

may be if you are a girl who actually managed to get married with the person you wanted and now have a perfect family.then you will actually have to refuse some very good career opportunities as they involve lot of travelling , late nights as these seriously affect your family life. you may have to take a break at work to have a kid and when you would go back to work again you would see in that minimum of one year time somebody else has actually taken your place.at that time you should run in 100/mph speed to catch up but you wouldn’t have the time and energy.you would have to go home early , you would be tired at work for not sleeping enough at night and you would think about catching up in few years when your kid would be a bit grown. but you would actually see yourself stuck at work in the same position years after years as you go back home as soon as possible after work for looking after the kids, entertaining guests, attending dawats, doing household chores. by then, you would know you are no more a woman with the superb career.you would get frustrated about that but not be able to show that off as you were the one who took the decision to get married, have kids and refusing all the good opportunities at work. ‘This is the problem with you independent women, you want everything’…..

yes, when i think about it i really cannot find the right balance. are women supposed to be liberated?is that making them happy?is it making the people around them any happier?is it doing any good for the society?i know, this is actually the crisis of a very privilaged lucky few but can we deny this crisis?

i must not forget to mention here, i seriously do believe there are women out there who could find that right balance.but i also believe, they are just a few exceptions.